My Depression

I can remember a sense of self hatred from when I was still a young child. I had no idea where it had come from or why, but simply felt this worthlessness from within myself. I believe there were several contributing factors to me developing depression at a young age, not fitting in with my peers chief among them. I suppose that’s why I found such a connection to the natural world in order to compensate. Throughout school, I would easily drift off to some other world with fantastical creatures.

It’s not hard to began believing that you don’t belong in the world you were born in, when your own mind can create such a better alternative. It wasn’t just the drifting off, or the lack of belonging that lead to severe depression, though they are big contributors. My brain had, and to some level still, has chemical imbalances or even genetic predisposition to function this way. I’ve heard many creative people suffer from depression and other serious mental health issues, and it seems to be the double edged sword to our being. That’s not to say other people with different talents don’t suffer just as much, they do.

The familiar misery is has an almost addictive, strangely comforting quality, especially when you have failed at some new task. The usual barrage of things you tell yourself are on you like a demon that’s just jumped on your back. “You’re not good enough”, “You don’t belong here”, “You’ll always be a failure at everything”. They may not sound like the ugliest insults, but when it’s your own mind is attacking you, it’s personal.

In my younger days, I was suicidal. I never truly attempted it, but the despair and intent were definitely there. It took a while before doctors found the right drug to finally help me get through this period, along with a psychologist that helped me as well. I’m also grateful to my parent for sticking with me during that time, as watching their daughter go through something like this had to be an absolutely horrible experience. I was lucky for that alone. It’s also of note that trying to eat healthier and exercising regularly have helped me, even if I slack off for a day or two. Simply going for a brisk walk when something sets me off has helped before.

The endless self doubt, and self inflicted dehumanization has left me physically tired on more than one occasion. Only when I’ve calmed the anger at myself can I try and sleep it off. It leaves me feeling guilt for upsetting the people around me, even though my intended target was only ever myself. Thankfully, I have people in my life that care enough about my well being to know that I am hurting myself. It comes and goes in waves, and with positive or negative experiences through the years. While I am on an antidepressant that helps me, the dark part of me is still hidden in the back of my mind to strike. It is much less severe now than in my adolescence, but still a presence I have to be aware of. It doesn’t matter what you do, mental illness is not something that just goes away.

I know this isn’t a cheerful thing to talk about, but as someone who’s experienced it, I know it needs to be talked about. Even in most of my personal life I don’t really share much of this information, but here on this blog I feel strangely more at ease to share it. I have had people leave me in the dust when I confided in them with this sort of thing before, so I suppose that’s why I’m hesitant to do it person currently unless it’s brought up. Unfortunately, there are people who have no empathy for those who suffer with depression, and see them as pathetic or crying out for attention. Nobody wants their own mind to be waiting in the rafters to attack them at every turn, nor d they ask to feel despair simply for the sake of attention. Feeling guilt for the way I feel and not speaking up about it should be enough to say that I didn’t ask for this.

I want to thank everyone who stops by and reads, likes, and follows this blog. I’m grateful to be able to bring you this content, and look forward to building on from that. Building content not just about the artwork I create, but also about my life and the things that I’m passionate about.

I will return with more art videos shortly!

Drawing Process Videos!

In the last few days, I’ve been putting together some videos of the shot by shot process of some of my latest drawings.

In between working on these, I am still working on more original artworks. I’ve had a couple of commissions all completed and sent out in the last month or two. I’m free again to take on more custom orders if anyone’s in the market for it. Some of my time has been spent on marketing on Facebook, and other social media platforms. Sometimes just before the perfectly timed summer storms begin rolling in. Then, because of frequent lightning, I have to turn off my PC.

This is what it looked like right before things got ugly.

Dark clouds rolling in


I have more work left to do. I’ll be back soon!


Gecko Art & Products

I thought I’d share some gecko artwork that I finished and uploaded to both my Etsy and Fine Art America Shops.

On my Fine Art America shop, there are several products available such as prints, tote bags, pillows, phone cases, and mugs.

Photography Prints

Photography Prints

I also have a Leopard Gecko piece from a while back available to be made into several products, too.

Art Prints


The original pieces are listed in my Etsy shop

I also have a few older lizard artworks still for sale, please check them out.

Green Anole 11″ x 14″ Original

Chinese Water Dragon Fantasy Art Print 11″ x 14″


I will keep posting new stuff as it becomes available! Keep your eyes out!


Youtube Video Artist Ad

Utilizing social media platforms to advertise myself and my work have been very beneficial to me in starting my own venture. Some of it has been frustrating and confusing, but I’ve kept learning through trial and error.

I had a Youtube channel a few years before I started posting on many other platforms, mostly for my pet videos and such. However, I just tried my hand at making a video advertisement for this little business of mine. It’s a fairly simple trailer for my artwork, but it is the beginning of something I feel will add another dimension to what I do for my readers, and possible customers.

Many people are fascinated by how art takes shape and progresses over time. While no one but the artist sits hour by hour seeing that process through its iterations, by documenting it in photos I can show it all without taking hours of someone’s time. I would love to have a high-speed camera to record everything, but for now I can provide a similar experience by taking incremental photos.

I did this video below a few years ago on some seaturtle pieces I’d done.

I have several folders of image files for the more recent pieces I’ve done, and I will be putting more art process videos on my channel.

I will still be adding pet videos every now and then, typically of my turtles. Those are fairly sporadic uploads. As I need to increase my marketing platform, I will be trying to focus more on the art side of things.

Although, who can resist the little turtle destroying the live plants I so lovingly put in the terrarium for him?


Speaking of turtles, this was my latest completed commission. A pet red eared slider turtle and her owner. This is a big female slider of nine years old. Many people end up getting rid of turtles when they become so large. I’m so glad to see someone who loves their turtle after so many years (and hopefully many more!). It’s very encouraging for me to see others who value them as much as I do. I was very happy to do this piece, and it’s a great piece of work to add to my portfolio.

Two Ladies: One A Turtle, One A Human



Having a love for my pets and wildlife is a big part of what I do as an artist. They endlessly inspire me. And of course, make me laugh.

More content coming soon, stay tuned!


The Serpent in Human Culture

The serpent has a long history of being a maligned creature both for it’s bite, and as a symbol of evil. Snakes, especially in the American South, are often outright killed because they are closely associated with the Devil in Biblical mythos, and sometimes for no other reason than ignorance. Even venomous species are more feared than necessary. Venom is a good reason to fear, and respect their distance. However some are actively sought out, and killed out of fear. Most snakes want little to do with humans, and when they get caught in our path it’s usually because they’re just passing through an area.


Before we became the hominid we are today, the first mammals were possom-like animals that lived in the trees of jungles. It is likely that we still retain the archetype-image of this predator in the most primal parts of our brains. An old recognition of fear passed down genetically over eons. Perhaps this is why so many people still have a fear of snakes in general. Fortunately, we have much less to fear from them now, and many have started to love the reptiles. A great deal of people now keep them as pets, study them, and even breed them for beautiful colorations.

Not all cultures have demonized snakes, and some of the more positive symbolism from ancient peoples still survives today. In the Bible, the serpent represents evil, and yet also fertility, life and healing. In Greek mythology, snakes take on the symbolism of rebirth, transformation, immortality, and healing. The ancient Greeks considered snakes sacred to Asclepius, the god of medicine. He carried a caduceus, a staff with one or two serpents wrapped around it, which has become the symbol of modern physicians.

The American snake-god was the Aztec spirit of intelligence and the wind, Quetzalcoatl (“Plumed Serpent”), who was balanced by the evil spirit of sacrifice, the Serpent of Obsidian Knives which was one of the four pillars supporting the sky. In Ancient Egypt, the cobra was believed to symbolize sovereignty, royalty, deity, and divine authority.

Native American myths from many tribes tell of wicked woman having affairs( and occasionally children) with snakes, a snake-woman who brought agriculture to the people, and the origin of snakes themselves.

It is no wonder these reptiles have had such a sordid history with humankind. One culture villifies them, while another worships them. At least now, there is a lot more we know about them, and that we can continue learning. They aren’t demons or gods, but survivors just trying to go about their days, catching a meal, finding shelter, and passing on genes.

Yellow Rat Snake
Found this guy stretched out on a sidewalk. I thought it was injured or dead, but nope. It curled around my hand, never tried to bite, and let my take a few photos. It was released back in the bushes near where I picked it up. It actually reached out for the branches, so up it went.

Here’s a great organization dedicated to the preservation of imperiled reptiles of North America to check out. Amazing photos and stories.

Orianne Society